“Good values are 1) reality-based, 2) socially constructive, and 3) immediate and controllable. Bad values are 1) superstitious, 2) socially destructive, and 3) not immediate or controllable. Good, healthy values are achieved internally. Something like creativity or humility that can be experienced right now. You simply have to orient your mind in a certain way to experience it. These values are immediate and controllable and engage you with the world as it is rather than how you wish it were. Bad values are generally reliant on external events.”
I recently read these thoughts by blogger Mark Manson as I flew home to Montreal. I felt humbled and grateful because these words helped me recognize that in recent months my own values had shifted more and more toward external factors, such as gaining others’ approval and attaining markers of success and external validation I had no control over. Drifting into these values was making me miserable and brought feelings of defeat even before I began projects. It seemed like I would only approve of myself and find satisfaction if things showed up in my life that I actually couldn't provide myself with. Mark’s thoughts helped me recognize that I could seek greater peace by choosing values I have full power to live by regardless of others’ responses to me. I could engage the things I care most about knowing I am progressing, developing and contributing in the ways I most desire to. This choice in itself is enough to provide the fulfillment I need.
What values do you use to measure your life? How might you benefit from adjusting any unexamined values? May you be strengthened to leave any values that no longer serve or encourage you behind, and to connect with deeper internal values that will lead you to greater spiritual well-being, fulfillment and peace!
