On this December 6th, we take time to reflect on our National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women. We commemorate the lives of the 14 women killed at the École Polytechnique de Montreal in 1989, as well as the lives of so many other women and girls killed or harmed since by men. More than 30 years later, I still remember vividly the moment I heard the breaking news – the shock, the confusion. It took a while for reports to recognize that these engineering students were murdered because they were women. Murdered by a man who targeted them because they were women. For many in the hours and days that followed, the shock and confusion of this tragic event raised several questions: how could this happen in our beloved Montreal? And if women aren’t safe here, then where?
Of course, women aren’t safe anywhere. Women weren’t safe then; they aren’t safe now.
It is important that December 6th is not just a day of remembrance, it is also a day of action. While much has been accomplished since 1989, we must recognize that much work still remains. Male violence against women and girls persists. During the recent pandemic, we saw a shadow pandemic of this violence. In 2020 alone, at least 160 women and girls were killed in Canada -almost all by men. In Canada, one woman or girl is killed every two-and-a-half days.
Why is this violence so persistent? Because it is deeply embedded in the fabric of our culture. To take effective action, it is important to connect the dots, to understand that all forms of male violence against women and girls are interconnected. This includes not only overt forms (murder, sexual violence, domestic violence, etc.), but also more covert forms (cat calls, harassment, the daily precautions taken against potential danger, etc.). These acts of violence are supported by the sociopolitical underpinnings of gender inequity, misogyny, the objectification of women, the conflation of sex and sexual violence, and ultimately the normalization of male violence against women and girls. All women and girls experience this violence, although all may experience it differently because of different intersections of such social locations as race, socioeconomic status, indigeneity, gender and/or sexual identity, and ability/disability.
Our pop culture reflects, supports, and perpetuates this violence in all its forms. This is no less true of pop music. But music can also be very powerful in challenging the status quo. From Lady Gaga’s “Til It Happens to You” to the “Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women Song” by Native American Culture, women are telling their stories in song and working for change.
I’ve been using the music of strong women singer/songwriters to support women survivors in therapy and to support social action in the public sphere. In listening to the songs of others, women can hear their own stories. In writing their own songs, women can regain their own voices often silenced by male violence. In performing their own songs, they can claim their power. A glimpse into this musical process can be seen in the film, “Beyond #MeToo.”
In one of the original songs from “Beyond #MeToo,” Eleanor Hart sings of her understanding of male violence and places it in the context of her experience of the Dec 6th National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women – “On se souvient” (We Remember – video posted below). It is time to remember, to understand, and to act.
Resources for survivors:
Quebec Helpline for Survivors of Sexual Assault: 1-888-933-9007
Quebec Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-363‑9010
McGill Office for Sexual Violence Response, Support, and Education: 514-398-3954
Ending Violence Association of Canada
Sandi Curtis (she/her) is a Distinguished Professor Emerita at Concordia University (PhD, MTA, MT-BC) and co-investigator on iMPACTS. She is an internationally trained music therapist with over 30 years experience in clinical practice, education, and research. She specializes in work with survivors of male violence and is a recipient of a Windsor Social Justice Person Award. Her most recent publication is “Music for Women (Survivors of Violence).”
This article was also published at Psychology Today.
